And now for something completely different:

One of my co-workers just got back from Japan. His big token gift to everyone in the office was these little bags of real, unboned, dried minnows, lovingly killed, and fortunately not enrobed in chocolate. Too crunchy for my taste.

Mmmm. If only Lance sold these in the vending machines at our office...

I don't read Japanese, but I think the label says, "My co-worker went to Japan, and all I got was this lousy little bag of crunchy dead minnows."